Many couples believe that they are connected forever. But some of them fall apart, sometimes because of trifles. How do you keep feelings and relationships fresh and keep them that way for as long as possible? Let's try to get to the bottom of the truth.
Relationships in the family receive a lot of attention from psychologists and other scientists. We invite you to heed their recommendations based on practical and scientific research.
Don't rush things. Many, having met their soul mate (or considering her / him as such), seek to legitimize their relationship as soon as possible by ringing each other. They are sure that that holiday of the soul and the seething chemistry of feelings will last longer if a wedding is made against their background. But according to most researchers, marriage lasts longer for people who have had a long period of dating. The numbers prove to us that couples who have dated for less than a year are 40% more likely to get divorced than those whose relationship lasted about 2 to 3 years before marriage.
A wedding shouldn't be a big expense. It is customary to hold the wedding ceremony and the feast following the painting "no worse than at the neighbour's." Parents prepare especially carefully for the wedding - well, yes, their children sign once in a lifetime. But you shouldn't turn the wedding into an unnecessarily luxurious event: according to scientists, those young people who spent impressive sums on gold rings and chic outfits are 30 percent more likely to get divorced than “modest spouses”. This is explained by the subsequent friction arising in a young family: financial well-being gradually comes to an ordinary state, debts and loans make themselves felt, becoming the reasons for disagreement. Economic disputes often lead to family divisions.
Touch each other more often, even in your sleep. According to surveys of scientists, it turned out that 95% of couples who embrace while sleeping have recognized themselves as happy. Of those who do not physically contact in their sleep, 70% said they were happy.
Say "thank you" more often. Scientifically speaking, gratitude, expressed in the simple word "thank you, " promotes the production of the hormone of trust. Gratitude strengthens attachment by allowing you to feel responsive and caring from your partner. Living together becomes calmer and warmer.
Don't forget to do the little treats. Minor surprises and courtesies that continue after years of being together go a long way in maintaining a relationship. It can be a modest bunch of flowers, a small gift, the same banal cup of coffee in bed - all these little things are signs of attention, "working" to strengthen relationships.
Speak the truth and assess your connection soberly. Truth in desires and openness of preferences have always been considered the basis of a strong union. Avoiding problems, coming up with excuses, secrecy have never been the laws of happy relationships, but rather the opposite. If there were and are problems, then you should not close your eyes to them and pretend that everything is fine. Admitting difficulties is the first step towards overcoming them.
You should not believe in the predestination of destinies and idealize the half. Each person is a world that sometimes has similar features, sometimes completely opposite ones. The belief that you are meant for each other by heaven is most often romance, somewhat far from reality. It is this vision that leads to quick and deep frustration. It is better to imagine family life as a long journey that allows you to discover all the facets of the chosen one, overcome difficulties and experience joys with him.
Love at a distance is possible, and you may have seen this in some films about first love. Psychologists, after analyzing many relationships that have developed at a distance, noted that such a union can be very strong. Being at a distance from each other, people more often turn to bright and light memories, "warming up" their relationships, they are happy to "savor" pleasant moments. This is especially possible thanks to the Internet, when the whole world is in the palm of your hand.
The appearance of children should be welcome. Scientists do not have an unambiguous answer to the replenishment of the family: on the one hand, there are facts proving a greater level of happiness in families with children, on the other hand, the appearance of children is associated with stress, through which everyone is destined to go. The conclusion comes the following: you need to want to become parents.
Good feelings should prevail in a relationship. Family psychologists with forty years of experience have made sure that kindness and generosity help preserve the family. Quarrels are difficult to avoid, but it is important to maintain respect for each other during disagreements. It is advisable to express your claims with good notes, so as not to arouse contempt from your partner. It is the latter that can become a factor for separation.