Almost everyone has the ability to chat, but the ability to be a good listener is not given to everyone. It is believed that listening is a great art. After all, listening without interrupting the interlocutor, and then starting some kind of speech is not an easy task.
With such people you want to communicate over and over again, share your thoughts and, in general, have a good time.
Undoubtedly, you have heard such phrases of surprised men: "I listened to her in silence for two hours, and she said that I was the most interesting interlocutor of those whom she met." Think about it.
Two types of interlocutors
... Obsessive talkativeness incessantly will not lead to the desired effect or positive impression on your interlocutor. There is not a single person who would only agree to listen. People need to tell their own stories. And given the fact that talkers never change roles, and always strive to be in the spotlight, they are naturally disliked. Such comrades will never become interesting interlocutors.
... Silence when someone speaks is, of course, a noble occupation. But excessive silence and a rare nod of the head, instead of an active and interesting dialogue, is not at all considered an ability to listen! It is also impossible to achieve the desired effect from this position. It is unlikely that they will want to re-communicate with you if you are silent all the time. In various articles on personal growth, you can find such a thing as "Active listening". So you have to understand that it is precisely "active", and not squeezed-gloomy.
How to be an interesting conversationalist?
The first step is to make a decision about who you want to be in society. You can take an example from a person with whom it is pleasant to communicate in reality. Copy his facial expressions, gestures and some phrases that you like. You also need to change your behavior: if you really change, then only for the better.
An interesting fact is that we, in fact, always copy someone. It is no coincidence that one wise man said: "Everyone comes into this world in originals, and leaves in copies." From childhood, we imitate and imitate the people around us. So isn't it better to use this natural mechanism deliberately?
It is necessary to conduct dialogue by looking into the eyes. Foreign objects, such as a phone or other gadgets, distract attention and leave a bad impression of you as an interlocutor.
It is necessary to create an atmosphere in which the interlocutor will feel interested in his story. It will not be superfluous to use a small number of words during the story to convince the interlocutor that he is being listened to.
Ask clarifying questions, but without going into unnecessary details. It is important not to overdo it so that active listening does not turn into interruption.
After the story, it is worth keeping a certain pause, no more than three seconds long. This is so that the narrator can add a few more words. Then there will be no awkward situations.
An important factor that must always be considered is to monitor your actions. While the interlocutor is telling another story, a thought may arise in my head: what to talk about next.
To avoid such situations, carefully and actively listen to the story of the interlocutor, and then you will not have to come up with a topic for conversation, since you can organically cling to a fragment from the story and talk about it for a long time.
Talk about him
Surely you are familiar with an interesting aphorism: "Start talking to a person about him, and he will listen to you for hours." Pay attention to this extraordinary moment.
We are all selfish by nature. Most people eagerly listen to the storyteller only to then begin their own story. If you want to be known as a good interlocutor, actively listen and highlight the merits of your comrade more.
Anyone can be an interesting conversationalist
So, in order to become an interesting interlocutor, always try to mentally respect the speaker and carefully, actively listen to him. Perhaps, this is the great skill that distinguishes worthy people from idle talkers or, on the contrary, notorious silent talkers.
Finally, we recommend that you read an amazing book that will not only contribute to the development of your personality, but also motivate for a long time.
It's called How to Make Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
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