How do you answer "uncomfortable" questions? Many of us often meet with "uncomfortable" questions that are asked in different situations by close people, or, on the contrary, by almost strangers. This article will tell you on practical examples how to behave in such situations and answer "uncomfortable" questions.
"Don't you want to give birth to a second?", "When are you going to get married?", "You are getting a divorce, right?" - Probably, each of us had to find ourselves in an awkward situation when a curious interlocutor really wanted to get information that you do not want to share, and then regret the direction this conversation took.
We present to your attention several strategies to help you answer your trickiest questions and still feel great. We recommend that you first practice with one of your friends, so as not to go into your pocket for a word in a real situation.
1 Programmers and Sherlock Holmes recommend
When answering unpleasant questions, you have every right not to give the interlocutor any specific information. Behave like a programmer from an anecdote who answered the question of the lost Holmes and Watson, traveling in a balloon, absolutely correctly, but at the same time his words were of no use.
"Sir, can you tell us where we are?"
- In the basket of the balloon, sir!
Or give general, but also not very useful information.
- How much do you earn?
- Like everyone else, the average salary in the industry (significantly less than Abramovich).
"Return" the question to the interlocutor. This can be done using two simple techniques.
1) Formulate "over-asking" in such a way that the person with whom you are talking becomes uncomfortable for their interest. Use a universal construction that begins with the words "I understand correctly that ...", and its ending will depend solely on whether you continue to communicate, whether you want to "build" your personal boundaries, etc.: "I understand correctly that you would not mind holding a candle in my bedroom? ", or" Do I understand correctly that your main problem today is my personal life? ", or" I understand correctly that interest in other people's troubles is in the order of things for you ? ". It's great if you say all this in a very polite, very calm, icy tone and do not gesticulate at the same time, unless you raise one eyebrow in surprise.
2) "Strengthen" interest in the given topic by addressing the interlocutor with a counter question from the same category:
- When are you going to give birth to a second one?
- And you - the third?
3 One Actor's Theater
Having heard some unpleasant question, you can always imagine yourself as a great dramatic actress, look into the eyes of your interlocutor, take a deep breath, press your hands to your chest (if you wish, you can “break” your fingers), portray an abyss of despair and say in a tragic voice: “I beg you ! Never, you hear, never ask me about it! " The second option - you portray a person giving a press conference (we will not name specific names, but we recommend that you pay attention to the persons of the first echelon of power) and say the phrase: “Please, next question!”. The third version is for fans of the Univer TV series. Remember the karate fighter Eduard Kuzmin (aka Kuzya) and say: "This is secret information!"
4 "I am not a bore, not a bore, not a bore!"
Instead of being offended, angry, or in some other way demonstrating that the interlocutor's question has hurt you, start answering in an even monotonous voice. The most important thing is the details. Give the smallest details and start very far away!
- When will you get married?
- Astrologers say that in order to conclude a happy marriage, it is necessary that the ascendants of lovers converge (do not ask us what the ascendants are and should they really converge - any abstruse theory in which your counterpart does not understand too much, even the "star chart", even a sharp turn of the life line, even though the Nazdak index). And at that moment, when I realize that I have met my soul mate and check if we are suitable for each other (I will have to clarify where and what time he was born), then I will tell him: "Yes." And not a minute earlier.
5 Kidding, this is annoying!
- My God, how much did you spend on this dress?
- I had to starve for two weeks, but what can't you do for the sake of fashion!
"I admire your ability to ask questions that are baffling!" Or: “You are an amazing woman (amazing man), you know what always amazed me about you? This is your ability to ask incorrect (difficult, rhetorical) questions! "
"I will be happy to answer your question, just tell me first why you are so interested in this?"
"What are you interested in?"
"Do you really want to talk about this?" If you hear an affirmative “Yes”, feel free to parry: “I don’t want to, ” and smile.
If you don't want to have any more business with the person who asks tactless questions, you can allow a little more. For example, remark in response: "This is my dog business."