Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he's so cool he never cries. Generally.
Chuck Norris never sleeps. He is biding his time.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are registered trademarks of his left and right feet.
Chuck Norris' main exported product is suffering.
If you see Chuck Norris, he sees you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only have a few seconds left to live.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting because the word "hunt" implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes to kill.
Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he gutts them.
Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee. The origin had nothing to do with it, he ate the damn Indian.
On the last page of the Guinness Book of Records, it is indicated in small print that all world records belong to Chuck Norris, and the book simply lists those people who managed to get as close to them as possible.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris's beard, there is another fist.
Chuck Norris causes filter cancer in cigarettes.
Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the face. The descendants of this horse are now called giraffes.
Human cloning is prohibited, because then there is a possibility that Chuck Norris and his clone can simultaneously kick each other in a circular kick. Physicists believe that this will lead to the destruction of the universe.
Chuck Norris once ducked with a parachute, but decided not to repeat it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
When Chuck Norris speaks, everyone listens in silence. And then they die.
Google doesn't find Chuck Norris because it knows that if you find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will find you.
Chuck Norris invented the color black. Actually, he invented all the colors except pink. Pink was invented by Tom Cruise.
Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. This became a fact after his first space expedition.
Chuck Norris grinds the coffee with his finger and then boils the water with his anger.
Archaeologists have discovered an old English explanatory dictionary, written in 1236, in which the word "sacrifice" is explained as "the man who stood in the way of Chuck Norris."
Mysterious Circles is Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes the corn has to fucking be quiet!
The recruiting office hid from Chuck Norris until he was 27 years old.
In fact, Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. Death is simply afraid to tell him about it.
Chuck Norris can delete the Trash.
Chuck Norris is so cool that he brought a rubber woman to orgasm.
In fact, Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two tons, breathes fire, can eat a hammer, and can withstand a shotgun shot at point-blank range.
The Great Wall of China was built to defend against Chuck Norris, but it failed shamefully.
If you ask Chuck Norris "what time is it", he will always answer "two more seconds." After you ask "two seconds before what?", He kicks you in the face with a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris makes the bow cry.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck adorned with human skulls. There is no theory of evolution - just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris spared.